How do you react on calls coming from the guidance counselor of your child’s school asking you for a Parent-Teacher Conference even if the giving-out of cards is still due next month? Will it also crush your heart discovering the rather problematic behavior of your child, while to your mind he or she is behaved and obedient? I can only imagine the pain traveling from your brain down to your spine and vice-versa. As parents admitting to ourselves that we were remiss in disciplining our children is difficult because we have lived by the notion that, “we cannot harm our children”. But have we really not led our children to harm’s way?
As a teacher I have many times come across students who lived dual lives. In the home they seem to be “cool” and cooperative but as soon as they reach the school, they change roles and start to display a type of behavior quite the contrary to how they conduct themselves in their respective homes. While some choose to not attend school on a regular basis (even if parents thought that they are in school; thus continue to give their daily allowance), others end up bullies. In my many years of teaching experience most of those who received disciplinary actions have problems in the home. Suppressed and repressed emotions are the common culprits.
Communicating with our children is important. It will do them good if we talk to them or discuss family matters with them. Being mum on situations that concern them will only make matters worse. Even if preoccupied with work, we need to ask our children how their day was. If it sounds more like a fishing expedition, let it be. What matters is knowing how our children spent their day.
Involving our children in family decisions and listening to what they have to say are essentials to teaching them responsibility and respect. When we parents allow our children to be healthy contributors to family matters, they develop confidence.
Ephesians 6: 1, commands the children to obey their parents in the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 on the other hand, instructs the Fathers,(or parents)to not exasperate their children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.